Starts with my toes...

So it's been a while a know but I thought I might share a few "gems" of experiences with getting pedicures...and manicures.
So I ususally go to the same place to get my toes and occasionally nails done, however one day when I (and my mom and Shilo) wanted to go they closed early. So, we decided to try another local place that we knew some people who had gone there. It seemed like your average nail place...that's just the place...notice I didn't mention the people. Well, the lady that did my pedicure seemed nice enough from the broken english I could make out. She was trying to chat with me but as I said, her english was broken; well I finally made out some things and here are just a few of the things said:
"Veh-ry sof. mhake my johb easy"

"Veh-ry sehxy feeh"

"See? see?"
All the while my toes would occasionally get caught in the sleeves of her long sleeve ruffled shirt. She proceeded to slap my legs occasionally to get my attention to show me what she had done. Finally, when all was said and done she pulls me out of the chair and shoves me towards the dryer. Well I took this oppotunity to pay and tip...well she took the opportunity to thank me profusely, hug me, then kiss my shoulder a few times. Needless to say for a person who is not usually a touchy feely type...I was weirded out and haven't been back since.

So due to the previous experience I went back to my usual place and the woman doing my manicure managed to insult me and compliment me in the same conversation. She was massaging my hands and said:

She said: "Soh yhoung and sof, don't do muhsh whit hand."

I said: "Oh, uh no I guess not."

She said: "Dhon't do mhany deeshes, mhom do them all?"

I said: "I help."

She said: "Noht muhsh"...while I try not to be insulted, she says "What do you whanna be when you growh up?"