A Simple Kinda Life?

I am sooo ready for my so-called life to be back (not the show, even though I did like it). Don't get me wrong, I like to be busy but I don't like something huge or traumatic happening so frequently. Here's a break down:

1) I get a new cell phone!
2) I dunk the cell phone in water.
3) I get the cell phone replaced...twice!
4) I have a great birthday with friends and family and pay off my car.
5) A week later that car is stolen.
6) Fast forward 3 weeks, a check is issued by insurance company for the car not being found...yea new car!
7) Next day, car is found and has been trashed
8) Get new car!!




9) Less than 24 hours later after new car purchase, car gets backed into



Seriously?!

I now live in paranoia that this car, even in it's dented state is going to be stolen. I was talking to my mom about it all and she said that I can't live like that. I asked her "is God trying to tell me something?" She said "maybe He's telling you to live more by faith and that my car shouldn't be where my treasure is." She's right, as usual, I hate that. So I decided to forget my paranoia and I actually took my car to the company Christmas party. It was at the Neon Moon Saloon over in the stockyards by Billy Bob's. I had never been there and had never even heard of it. I worked my tail off planning for it. It seemed to be a sucess with my motley crew of co-workers. There was pool tables, karaoke, and of course an open bar. It took a bit but we got people on stage to sing for tickets for door prizes. I even gave into peer pressure and sang a classic, "Alone" by Heart. I got cat calls, cell phones were raised and swayed, and I even got a couple "we're not worthy" bows. I thought I was free of the pressure but at the end I was requested to sing a Christmas song to send us off. I sang along to a very fast version it seemed of "O Holy Night". All in all, not terrible but I am sure glad it's over and I can stop stressin'.

I am sooo ready for a simple kinda life....

Time Away

I love cabins. I do, I always have a good time when I stay in one, so I decided to visit my love for a little mini vacation before the holidays. I figured I needed a break. Not just a break from work but just from everything. Don't judge, single life can be hard when you are constantly reminded of your said status and those who are determined to "fix" it. So I booked a cabin in Oklahoma and picked one that I liked based on the cute porch and the garden tub. I figured who could ask for anything more? I booked the cabin with all intents and purposes to go and stay by myself. This seemed like a fabulous idea...at the time. Well I found out it wasn't the best time to take off from work, payroll was due among many other things as usual. However, I NEED A VACATION!! I stood my ground and make the reservations and started planning ahead. I then realized my first mistake...I was going to be gone when "New Moon" was going to be released! What was I thinking? So I started searching for local theaters near where I would be...found one, problem solved! Then I started thinking, maybe I shouldn't go see it by myself, I really like to watch movies with people to see their reactions too. So, I invited my friend Misty to join me at the cabin and to go see the movie...so glad I did!

I left out on Wednesday much later than I intended (second mistake), oh well just as long as I get there before dark right? Well, I left not remembering how it gets dark so early. I also realized in all my "planning", I did not get maps and specific directions other than the e-mails from a lady at the cabin rental office. Not too worry I have GPS on my phone...so I thought. It wouldn't work! So I very quickly, in route to my destination downloaded a GPS app to take me there. It worked fairly well but apparently took me in a roundabout way.

So I get on the main drag from where I will be turning off to get to my cabin, it's getting darker and darker and I am getting farther and farther out from civilization. Now granted I was in Oklahoma where some might say there is no civilization, but it is where I have some family and is where my family has reunions so watch it. Granted that is usually the only times that I see them, still. So I am driving for a while and I thinking, crap I passed it. So I head back to "civilization" and I do something I rarely ever do...I asked for directions. I know that that is usually a typical thing for some women, but things are backwards in my family. The men ask for directions and the men like to shop and the women don't ask for directions and usually shop with a purpose. So I ask for directions and they are soooooo backwoods it's ridiculous. They pass my "directions" around and keep muttering back and forth all the while blowing smoke, literal smoke in my face. Well I get back on the road after their "guidance" and I drive for a bit and don't see what they are talking about. I do it again, I stop at another place and ask for directions. These women were a little more helpful, but they also decided to add things like..."good luck with cell service" and "make all your calls now". Uh thanks so much. I had been getting service in and out but I was still able to get many worried calls and calls to check on me from my parents and friends.

I head out on the main drag again...I drive....drive....still driving and start thinking...I am in a horror flick or to make it a little better possibly Forks, Washington. So it is pitch black and I finally see my road marker "Crawpuppies" or to be more accurate from what the sign actually says "Crawpups" or some jumbled version of that. I turn down this road and I start winding down some gravel roads and there are of course, no lights. I do this for a bit and while trying to not cry keep going back to "Crawpuppies" to get my bearings. I do this at least 3 times. I finally call the cabin office thinking that they will probably not answer, it's too late...of course this is because I start believing that it is like midnight cause of the darkness and then look to the clock in the car and see it is in fact only 6pm! So I call the cabin office...ring...ring...ring...thank the Lord someone answers!!! It's the lady I have been e-mailing! This sweet, sweet lady talks me through it and guides me from "Crawpuppies"...she says "There are 2 gravel roads to your right (I am thinking, there are? I never saw them in the 10 times I went down this road) you need to turn right at the 2nd road, you will see our sign there." Okay, okay, is that? yes, I believe it is...a break in the tall, tall grass....oh it's a gravel road! One down!! Okay, okay where's road number two?? Ah ha! Another break in the tall, tall grass and what's that peaking over it...oh yes, it's a tiny, miniature, not lit up at all sign! I did not see that before! She stays on the phone with me and guides me all the way to my cabin!! I was so excited to see it that when I went up the stairs to the porch I tripped a few times, hope she couldn't hear it. Sweet cinnamon pumpkin! I made it!! Only 6:30...now what? I realize that I obviously have cell service, so I check in with the necessary people and decide that I am not going anywhere.

What to do for dinner...snacks, as I said not going anywhere. My Dad insisted I get the multi-tool (with knife)from the truck (I borrowed the truck, since I am still in rental car status and going out of state), got it and the wicked awesome multi-purpose flashlight (complete with lantern setting, torch setting, siren setting, and radio). So I settle in with my stuff and my snacks in front of the TV downstairs.
Scratch, scratch...creeeekkkk. What...was...that??? Oh crap...I am the damsel in distress in a twisted horror flick. This place is filled with windows I cannot see out of cause it is so stinkin dark!! I get my multi-tool, knife ready and check all locks...oh did I mention the windows?...did I mention that they have no curtains!!???...only tiny valances, I am sure it really completes "the look". Well I can't tell if anything is actually outside...so I do the next best thing. I start moving what furniture and such I can in front of the front and back doors. I also turn on random lights throughout. I watch TV for a while and then decide that I really didn't get to talk to my mom much earlier...gonna call her...again. Don't judge me. I am all ready for bed so I talk to her while I decide what lights to leave on and to leave the TV on. I go upstairs, which is a loft, so I can still stare into darkness. I keep her talking long enough to get into bed. "Bye, love you Mom"...with a silent "I'll always love you, tell Dad I love him too." So I lay down with a book, my flashlight, and my multi-tool knife...then I hear scampering on the roof. It's a squirrel, it's a squirrel, right??? Yeah, sure it is. I decide then also with my recent "luck" to check on the truck. I press the lock button and I see the lights flash and hear the beep...good still there. Okay, I put the book away and allow the host of whatever late night show talk me to sleep. Sleep...4 am...what was that?...why am I awake?...great, gotta pee. Gotta go downstairs to do that...woke me up a bit. Sleep...man is it bright in here...alright I'm up.

Misty showed up the next night...yea!! So happy to see her!! We are getting ready to go see the midnight showing of "New Moon" at the local theater. Well I noticed we had a problem with hornets or yellow jackets, not sure what they were. I had killed 2 already. I am chillin on the couch in my jeans, sweater and cute new converse and see one "land" on the floor. I was reading my book and I decided it's as good as anything to kill it. Well I rear back and getting ready to hit it and SMACK! RIP! Rip, yes I said, rip. I simultaneously killed the bug with my book and...ripped my pants. I say rip, but it's more like my butt exploded out of my pants! LOL!! I was like, seriously?? I had no warning, my pants always sag in the butt, I had been wearing them all day, lounging around and all it took was me bending over?! I stood up quickly and gasped. Misty said, "did you get it?" "Uh, oh yeah I got the bug...but I just totally ripped my pants." I then proceeded to back up slowly to the staircase to change. Well, I guess it's better it happened before we went to dinner and the movie. (Oh, dinner was at a place called Papa Pablano's, pretty good, very colorful)

"New Moon", I am surrounded by children in their letter jackets...I am too old for this...maybe. They are sooo backwoods and hickish, it's a show in itself. They keep periodically trying to start the wave in this line we are in, which is a line for ticket holders! Apprently we are not "true Twilight fans" since we won't participate in the wave. Shut up children...haha....well I liked the movie and it was interesting to see it with all of them and I got annoyed a few times, but it was an adventure.

The rest of the trip was relaxing and fun to just do whatever and be in such beautiful scenery. Oh and I slept sooo much better knowing Misty was downstairs. We hit another local restaurant Friday called Roma. It was pretty good too. We went to 2 Walmarts, a cute local coffee shop, and another local BBQ place called MR Pigg. I know, I know...it is however M.R. Pigg not Mr. Pigg, it just didn't specify on the sign. All in all, it was a nice time away...even if I thought I was gonna die the first night...haha.

Keeping Austin Weird...

So I decided to "keep Austin weird and went there last weekend to see John Krasinski's (Jim from "The Office")directorial debut with my super fan friend Misty. We also attended a reading/signing from the book that the movie is based on. JK was adorable at the reading and even showed that he is in fact human and does get nervous in front of fans. He almost knocked over the microphone and was even shaking when we was reading from the book. He is adorable!! The movie/book is called "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" and it was definitely an indie film and I had to discuss it out loud to make sure I understood it. It wasn't bad, just indie and thought/question provoking. The theater was off of the infamous 6th street and we got there around 8 something and it hadn't even reached it's peak in liveliness and people. After the movie was over around 12 something it was another world and from what understand it could be compared to Mardi Gras which I have never been to.


It was a good road trip too because I got to go to the Roundrock outlets and got a pair of green converse shoes!! I think they are super cute!!!








All in all, good times, good friends old and new and always good to do a little road trippin'.

My Findings...

So here it is, the continuation of my car saga...So I finally got a chance to go and look at "my car" on Monday. I left work at 4:30 so I could make it before the rude woman that works at the wrecker service told me they stop letting people "see" vehicles. Well, I head that way and there is a huge wreck right before the Beach St exit. I inch along until I get past the exit and finally we start moving. I make it to the place after having to call because it is NOT located directly off of Denton Hwy. It is behind something on Denton Hwy. I get there with 5 minutes to spare somehow and I go into what is a house serving as an office. I walk in and see a "not small" man with dirty hands and more tattoos than I can count, let's call him Bud. Bud gets up from a desk and says "Trammell?" and I nod and he says "Soloro? Is that the one they just picked up?" (short pause) "Just kidding." I just attempt to smile of course. (It was a Toyota Solara by the way.) Bud starts looking through this drawer and of course he decides to at that moment show an example that men can in fact multi-task and he proceeds to go through the drawer AND belch. All the while this is going on a man is yelling from an "office" about facebook and something to do with texting. I'm am getting from "context clues" maybe it involves his kid and maybe his ex-wife's computer and pictures from an iPod. There are I don't know how many men in that office but I saw at least 3 different ones peek out. Bud keeps looking and and says "I've looked at this like 12 times today, can't find it though." He goes to the computer and asks for the last 4 digits of the VIN number, how that helps to find paperwork in a somewhat broken and disorganized drawer to look on the computer, I have no idea. Thankfully, my Mom was with me and had the insurance card with that info on it. Well after he comes back to the drawer and pulls out one envelope with some man's license copied on it and I kept saying "That's not mine", he finds mine. He says "No keys, got keys?" Well I of course had nothing because as I told them and the police, I turned in everything on the vehicle, title and all last Tuesday! Well he "escorts" us out and like 4 cats are running around in front of me, he says "Wanna cat?" I say "Uh, no thanks, I'm good." Bud yells at a man across the lot to take us to the car, the guy (let's call him Denver) says, "Why can't you?" Bud says "Cause there ain't nobody in the office!" (beside the at least 4 in that office with the ranting man). Denver says, "It's 5:30, it's closed!" Bud says, "just go with the guy in the blue hat(Denver), forgive him, he's a Denver fan." So we have to go the back corner of the lot passing wrecks that you wonder, is that it? I finally spot it between a severely wrecked vehicle and like 5 others. My first thought was...my car (fighting some threatening tears)...that didn't last. I notice there is some sticky yellow plastic on the driver side window. I thought it was something for identification or marking...nope the driver side window was stuck down. Denver reaches in and unlocks it...this is NOT my car, at least not how it was when I had it. There are dirty clothes, socks, cds, paper, almost a full pack of cigarettes, and more. The whole thing reeked of cigarette smoke and there are leaves. I decide to look in the console (with latex gloves on) and...nothing, so I go to the passenger side...the locks don't work, so Denver reaches in and unlocks it. I see most of the contents of the glove box in the floorboard. I find my flashlight, ice scraper and what insurance cards I can find (at least I got something, right?). I find someone else's mail among this (interesting? I think so, especially since the address is a street that runs right next to where the auto shop is, which is where it was stolen from) and I find a box cutter, a kitchen knife, a small baggie with two rings, and just trash in general. Well I wanted to check the trunk for my camping chair and my nephew's booster seat...well the trunk release won't work. I try with Denver to pull the seats forward to access the trunk...yuck...nope they won't budge. So he fiddles with the locks and it somehow resets the trunk release and it works. Nothing. Well I decide then that not only am I feeling disgusted and sad and I don't think I am going to find anything else, but I am afraid to dig for fear of cutting myself on something or finding something else disgusting. Oh, while I am "searching" my Mom feels the need to point out to Denver that I never kept "my car" like this, it was much cleaner. I doubt he cares Mom. We leave and I officially say good-bye to "my car". I call the detective with Saginaw police and leave him a message and the Tracie the claims lady and informed them both on my findings. Basically I said, mostly everything in the car is in fact, not mine. On to my new vehicle...possibly a GREEN 2010 Toyota Venza. It doesn't come in until the first week of Dec. but Toyota made me a deal and knew I had to turn in my rental car on Wed and they have put me in a 2010 red camry until the venza comes in. That is when I ultimately decide and "sign on the dotted line"...

Latest

So, I waited the alotted time period required by my insurance and I finally settled on my car. I received the check last week on Tuesday and surprise, surprise I get a call from the auto shop it was stolen from on Wednesday. What did they say? Well, they said they may have found my vehicle. Found??? Maybe...brought back??? Seriously?? The people it was stolen from, "found it"?? Do they think I'm stupid? Oh and get this, it was found...dun dun dun...on the block right behind the auto shop!! Seriously suspicious! They wanted to know if I had the VIN number somewhere...uh yeah I'm going to help you "find" my car...I don't think so! So anyway, I heard nothing confirming if it was or wasn't my car. So that was Tuesday and Wednesday...Thursday morning, I had to be at work early for a safety meeting and I should have eaten my Wheaties. Now I have been told that I have a sensitive sense of smell and as I was being taught how to be safer I keep noticing that I smell alcohol. I also notice that everytime that Green Fingers (a guy I work with literally has a green fungus under every nail) speaks it gets stronger. Now GF had had previous issues with alcohol, like showing up late and drunk and then crying...that was so pathetic. He was having "lady problems", I know how that sounds but he always called his fiance "lady" and she was no longer his fiance. That's a whole other story. So, I mention it to a co-worker and she passes it on while someone asked me a question. The next thing I know I am being called into the safety coordinator's office with one of my bosses to elaborate on my observation of GF. Next thing I know drug tests are being pulled, GF refuses (after chain smoking and face washing) and gets fired. That was shocking, sad, and apparently according to some "a long time coming." So, I am feeling bad about that and notice I missed a call on my cell, it was from the Saginaw police...my car had been "recovered". I told him my suspicions, he "uh uh'd" through that and then he requested I that I go look at it and see if anything of mine is still in it, claim it, and if there is anything that is not mine in it let them know. I have to wear latex gloves and I have to basically do their job and investigate the car. Notice I didn't say my car?? It's not mine anymore, it's the insurance company's car! He also told me that they had wanted me to come look on Wednesday, I told him no one called me but the auto shop and his response "oh I guess we dropped the ball on that one", you think? Thank you Captain Obvious. So I did a conference call with the wrecker service and my insurance claims person Tracie (we are now on a first name basis and might even exchange Christmas cards, haha) and found the police needed to give me permission to access the vehicle. So I am going tomorrow to investigate.

Next post: My Findings...

Yeah It Really Happened...

So I am a year older and I managed to not accidentally say the wrong age, I did not let the fact that my birthday was on a weekday keep me from celebrating (Thank you Lexi and Misty), and I got off early from work and got a free pumpkin pie latte from the sweet lady at the Jitterbean because it was my birthday.



So things were going good...until Thursday...good "The Office" wedding episode, but not so good drive home. I managed to dunk my fairly new cell phone into the cup of water that I set in the cup holder I would normally put my cell phone in. My phone is currently resting in a tupperware of uncooked rice, hopefully "healing" itself.



Saturday: "Couples Retreat" and witnessed a "real life" couple in the theater that needs to go on a couples retreat because they got into a fight and left during said movie. Sunday: I watched a pathetically played Cowboys game, save Miles Austin and a slight win with my family and that was good. I noticed my brakes were grinding and decided that I would need to take my car to get new brakes as soon as possible.

Monday: Went to work and got permission to take a half day to renew my license, get tires looked at, and take car to get brakes fixed. I renewed my license online, so I will manage to be older, yet still look younger. I decided to take care of my tires after the brakes and took my car to a place I have taken it to before to get new brakes. I was told they would not be able to get to it until tomorrow. Due to the fact that I would not be able to take it in the morning and I have left it there before I just left it there to be fixed first thing. BIG MISTAKE.

Tuesday: I was getting ready for work and around 7:30am I received a call from auto shop I took my car to...my car was stolen! Supposedly, their office was broken into and change from the cash drawer, my car keys, and my car were stolen. THAT IS ALL!! "They" did not take any computers, tools, the playstation, and no other cars! So, needless to say I did not go to work. I spent most of my day on the phone with the insurance company, filling out paperwork with the police, and looking up the blue book value of my car. I got a rental car at least to make it to work and I got my claims person on "getting to the bottom of this". This is just a long line of "life lessons" I have had that I can say..."yeah it really happened."

Funny Things

So, a lot has happened since I last blogged. First, my mom is okay, no tumor! Yea! Second, I have a niece named Sarah Gail 9lbs 5oz, born Sept. 1st. She is beautiful! I have a proud nephew Stephen that would agree whole heartedly.

Anyway, so it was a crazy week the week we were anticipating her arrival. I was over at my brother and sister in law's house the night before she was born. I was getting ready to leave their house and my sister in law was in the shower, so I peeked my head into the doorway of the bathroom to say goodbye. I had to yell over the shower:

Me: "Bye! I'll see you tomorrow!"

Michelle: "Uh huh, you're staying with me"

Me: "No I'm not"

Michelle: "Yes you are"

Me: "No I'm not"

This exchange happened at least 3 or 4 times.

Michelle: "Wait, is this Stephen or Jamye?"

Me: "Jamye"(laugh)

Michelle: (laughs) "Sorry, it's hard to hear in here, yeah see you tomorrow!"

So apparently I sound like a 4 year old boy, or my nephew sounds like a 27 year old girl. (Or it could be because I have been told that I sound like a little girl when I yell (Lexi)).

The morning Sarah was born and my brother came and got us to see her in the nursery we were walking down the hallway and Stephen said "She's free! She's free!"

We of course wanted to go and visit them at the hospital after she was born. Well, we went up there Wednesday night with the grandparents and great grandparents and we decided after our visit to go eat. Well Stephen was with us and was being particularly clingy to me and sitting closely to me in the booth. The waiter stops to check on us at one point:

Waiter: (to Stephen) "What's your name?"

Stephen: "Stephen."'

Waiter: "How old are you?"

Stephen: "Four...I got a baby sister, Sarah Gail born today"

Waiter: "Oh yeah? Born today?"

Me: "Yesterday."

Waiter:(looks at me) "Really? Just born? Yesterday?"

Me: "Yup."

Waiter: (incredulously) "Really? Wow."

Mom: (after waiter walks off) "I think he thought you were Stephen's mom."

Me: "Oh, well yeah you know, I pop out kids and then decide I'm hungry. I leave the new one at home and go out with the family."

Control Your Face

Okay so I went for my "regular" pedicure today. I got there and surprisingly for a Saturday it wasn't that busy and I got put in a chair as soon as I got there. I can't same the for my Mom who had to wait a bit to get a full set of nails. Well, I am soaking my feet and enjoying the massage chair and I take in the room. There is a person there across the room that looks familiar, but I get that a lot myself so I let it go. So the lady rolls up in that weird rolling stool like at the doctor's office and starts on my feet. First she asks where my friends are if I am not with any of them...which where were my friends? Not there, obviously. Well then she proceeds to ask me about an "older lady" from Azle that I came in with me last and about her not liking her color or something was messed up. Granted I am only getting maybe every third word. I am like, "oh uh okay". I think at this point it is a confession and she is telling me that "Ih feex cohlor" I have no idea what she is talking about. (it was explained to me later by Lexi)

Then, she goes to get that cheese grater thing that they use on your feet and she squirts this clear goop on it. It bounces and goes in her eye! She spazzes and starts blotting her eye with her towel. She then proceeds, not once, not once, not twice, but three times to scoop my "feet water" and use it to wash out her eye!! I am trying not to look shocked and disgusted, but really? I am thinking...what the? Oh the horror!! (for those of you who don't know, I am not a feet person and I can't even really touch my own feet because I am ticklish and grossed out by feet in general) She says "luhky". I am thinking, me or you? It wasn't my fault! She also showed me what she "grated" off, like I need to see it?! She moves on with the pedicure but periodically points at her eye and looks at me! Then she keeps poking my feet to tell me what to do and says "cahn't seeh, ohnly ohne eyeh". I'm like, I'm sorry! It's not my fault. Well we finish the pedicure with no more incidents when I hear a bit of a commotion at the register. The girl I thought was familiar is disputing the cost, she is trying to account for $5 dollars. I hear the others working there saying "fhive minute, fhive dhollar, bhig diffrhence". I have no idea what that was about but she did this dispute for a while and even came back after leaving. I of course pretended to actually like the skatboarding competition on TV just to avoid eye contact with anyone. So, all in all pretty eventful and I did know that girl after all and they found out I did, but I won't reveal any names. Why does this happen to me? I guess it's almost like a law of nature to have something happen when I get pedicures. Oh and by the way I didn't giggle or laugh at all, I was too busy feeling shamed.

What Goes On

So I decided to copy a little (sorry Connie) and update about me. I am reading a lot of Christian fiction books that are all based in specific states. They are compilations of like 3 or 4 stories all based in a certain state or region for some. I really enjoy them. However, I am finding that most of them once I start reading them are literally falling apart!! I don't know if it's the glue or lack thereof, but it's ridiculous! I am the type that I have to finish the book too, so I am literally reading some of these in sections. Well, I decided to change things up and I started reading another Christian fiction book and I really like it. It's called 'Secrets" by Kristen Heitzmann and I can't put it down! I also found out it's a series! Yea! I am a book nerd!! Other than that I work of course and I have recently taken on a new challenge. I am teaching the college and career Sunday school class at church. I know, I know, me teach? Me who hates being in front of people? Well, I have taught 4 weeks now and I just picked out the next series. I really want to look around and maybe find something not so long, but this one will do until the seniors come from the youth group. It's called "Jaded" and don't even pretend that the Aerosmith song didn't just pop into your head, cause it does mine every time I look at it. I really think that this age group kind of gets lost in the shuffle and that they just stop coming. I know I felt that way. So, I hope I can maybe help change that...so pray for me (and maybe those are subjected to my amateur teaching). My nephew will be 4 on August 1st and I am planning on welcoming a niece to the world on September 1st!! Lots of changes there and time is flying by!! (Not for my sister in law though, she feels huge.) For those of you wondering about my "love life" still don't really have one and I think I am okay with that for now...maybe. I can't count how many times recently I have gotten "you married yet?" "why not?" Seriously? Of course that only brings about my shining sarcasm of "nope" and "you tell me." I really think I just haven't found that person that I can put up with, yes I did say that. Too often I hear "that person that can put up with me" so I am changing it up. So, until that I will enjoy my pedicures with the girls and do what I please. :) Well I hope this blog will suffice until I have some more to tell. I have some funny happenings that I store up so I have more say then. Until then...have a good one!!

Victim of Stupidity...aren't we all?

Waitress: "Hey, do I know you? Did I work with you?"
Me: "No, I don't think so."
Waitress: "Are you (some guy's name)'s sister?"
Me: "Nope."
Waitress: "Are you sure?"

Guy I worked with first time I met him in the break room, just him and me...
Guy: "Are you Brandon's brother?"
Me:(look at him and go back to eating)
Guy:"You're Brandon's brother right?"
Me:(look of disbelief and a little, are you stupid?) "I'm Brandon's s..."
Guy: "Sister right! Sorry!"

Got my hair cut short, will never do it again, here's why:
Girl: "That's a cute pregnant lady haircut."

Stupidity. Why?!

I wore stirrup pants and flourescent colors...with permed hair and glasses that were too big for my face. Why? It was the 80's.

I fell at the Tandy center going up the steps...then fell again the same day when I was leaving. Why? Humility?

I ripped my pants at work one day...thankfully when there was only 5 minutes of the day left. Why? I don't know, there was no wear and tear, my pants just decided to fail me.

I once got trapped in the shower in the dorm room and had to be helped out of there by my suitemate who I'd only met the day before. Thankfully, I had put my towel over the shower door and not by the sink. Why? Because these things happen to me.

I once got hit on by a guy that referred to himself as "Big Sexy." Why? Not sure, ask him.

I once tripped over the hose at the gas station while pumping gas and jacked up my gas tank. Why? Because a huge "Silence of the Lambs" size moth was trying to get into my car.

Why do these things happen to us? Only one answer...God truly has a sense of humor.

Eye Don't Think So!!

Okay, so I went to the eye doctor today for my year check-up since I had LASIK last year. So, he is telling me good things like 20/15 and telling me what my vision was before LASIK...then BOOM he drops his bomb. He starts talking about "slight" nearsightedness! What?! Exactly how far am I supposed to be seeing?! I mean considering I don't have to put on contacts or glasses just to put on make-up or something as trivial as using the bathroom, I think that's pretty good! I would literally have to almost climb into the pack and play with my nephew just to check on him when he was sleeping! I could see his face when he told me this, unlike before LASIK without glasses or contacts he would have been a blur and I would have been scrunching my face in a so attractive way just to make it out! I enjoy opening my eyes and being able to see in the morning! Rain on my parade? No sir! He wrote me a prescription as an option...uh that's why I got LASIK, don't want to wear glasses! I had 18 years of glasses and/or contacts! That was a long time for me, I still think I am forgetting something when I get ready for bed or pack to go somewhere. Anyway, so as long as I can see to drive and I can in fact read the road signs for exits off the highway even before I get lost, I think I will be okay. I am working on the getting lost thing, I got a navigator I call Doloris (the direction giver) on my phone, so see I am doing just great!

For those of you with glasses or contacts, not knocking them, I know your pain and I apparently lost my tolerance for it and saw an opportunity. If it makes you feel better I still had like 3 boxes of contacts and I had spent a lot on my last pair of glasses when I got LASIK. I also had some really unattractive pairs of glasses over the years, painful memories...captured forever in photos and film. So, you perfect vision people...have a heart...love your vision challenged family and friends and tell them..."I wish I could look that good in glasses" or some other vision related compliment and mean it! It really is nice to hear!

To Sing or Not to Sing

So I have been asked to sing at my parent's church this Sunday. I am super nervous. Don't get me wrong I love to sing, but I would prefer for people to be either in another room or closing their eyes. I have been singing in front of people for a long time, but it never gets any easier. Take my first time to sing in front of people at church.

So I am about 6 years old maybe and someone, still don't know who decides to have the brilliant idea for me to sing "Away in a Manger". This is all the verses and of course by myself. Well, things are progressing, verse 1, check, verse 2, check, verse 3...almost done...(blurt) "to live with Thee there" and I run off stage crying. Nice huh? Well I run to my Mom unaware of the applause only wanting the comfort of my Mom and she is...laughing. She tells me to this day that she was so overwhelmed with emotion and being so proud of me she was laughing and crying; not at me. Still traumatic for me.

So, you can see how I associate performing in front of people with fear, at least I hope you see it too. Also, there is the constant knowing that if I look in the general direction of my Dad, he will in fact be crying, so I have taken to staring at the wall. Here's hoping there is not a repeat of the "Away in a Manger" debacle.

Starts with my toes...

So it's been a while a know but I thought I might share a few "gems" of experiences with getting pedicures...and manicures.
So I ususally go to the same place to get my toes and occasionally nails done, however one day when I (and my mom and Shilo) wanted to go they closed early. So, we decided to try another local place that we knew some people who had gone there. It seemed like your average nail place...that's just the place...notice I didn't mention the people. Well, the lady that did my pedicure seemed nice enough from the broken english I could make out. She was trying to chat with me but as I said, her english was broken; well I finally made out some things and here are just a few of the things said:
"Veh-ry sof. mhake my johb easy"

"Veh-ry sehxy feeh"

"See? see?"
All the while my toes would occasionally get caught in the sleeves of her long sleeve ruffled shirt. She proceeded to slap my legs occasionally to get my attention to show me what she had done. Finally, when all was said and done she pulls me out of the chair and shoves me towards the dryer. Well I took this oppotunity to pay and tip...well she took the opportunity to thank me profusely, hug me, then kiss my shoulder a few times. Needless to say for a person who is not usually a touchy feely type...I was weirded out and haven't been back since.

So due to the previous experience I went back to my usual place and the woman doing my manicure managed to insult me and compliment me in the same conversation. She was massaging my hands and said:

She said: "Soh yhoung and sof, don't do muhsh whit hand."

I said: "Oh, uh no I guess not."

She said: "Dhon't do mhany deeshes, mhom do them all?"

I said: "I help."

She said: "Noht muhsh"...while I try not to be insulted, she says "What do you whanna be when you growh up?"

G-R-E-E-N = L-O-V-E?

So, another Valentine's Day came and went but it was a good Valentine's and here's why:

1) I got not 1 but 2 bouquets of flowers!! Thank you Daddy and thank you Chris and Lexi)

2) I was finally validated in my "love" for green!

Green (according to M & M's) is the new color of love!!

3) My nephew Stephen decided to try his "chances" with Lexi, here is the exchange:

Stephen: "Can I hug you?" ;Lexi: (giggle) "Sure." (hug) "Aww Stephen, that's so sweet." ;Stephen: (steps back and fiddles with his fingers) "Can I kiss you a little?" ;(laughter from all ensues) ;Chris is watching this and says: "Whoa, watch it there." ;Lexi: (laughs) receives a cute kiss and a moment in history is made.

I don't know about you, but this is definite material for future embarrassment for Stephen, but for now it's just cuteness in the making!

Hope you all had a "love"-ly Valentine's Day!

CrazyPJunk?

Okay so I saw the movie Taken this weekend...intense. So I started thinking that I am so not someone able to defend myself if I needed to. So I decided to come up with something that is more user friendly to those of us not so athletically inclined or just not very strong. I am calling it tentatively...CrazyPJunk. So simply it's this: So someone (bad man, maybe even woman) approaches and/or attacks so...you start barking like a dog (maybe even snap at 'em), then if that doesn't work...pee yourself (nobody is going to want to touch you then...hopefully), if that doesn't work...start flailing about (kinda like the way Phoebe runs on Friends)...ideally about this time they think you're crazy and start backing away, so to seal the deal...drop to your knees and junk punch 'em. Boom.

My First Blog

Hello,
My name is Jamye. Yes, Jamye with a "y". Thank you Mom. I used to think it was original but I have met people with that spelling but apparently it's still weird and hard to "wrap your mind around". Or so I am told. So here I am giving in to the peer pressure to enter the world of blogging. So, please be kind and don't expect too much.